MudNCrud Forums
Sitting and Day Dreaming => Mud Puddle => Topic started by: Brad Young on May 31, 2019, 10:21:31 AM
-
1. My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
2. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 165 in about 2 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
3. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
-
Sounds like a good way to get multiple stab wounds from a large pair of sewing scissors.
:)
-
Give me a minute, I need to post on Supertopo. I don't know what on, but something...Done
Yeah, good matital material there.
Bathroom scale, winner!!
After my buddies 1st marriage of 3 (hope #3 sticks), his advice...."yes dear" not good.
-
What rhymes with wrapping paper?
-
Wrapping paper
-
ouch
-
ouch
How does that rhyme?