MudNCrud Forums
Climbing and ... Climbing => Masters of Mud -- Pinnacles => Topic started by: mungeclimber on November 17, 2025, 10:37:54 PM
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Taking the Burnsbabe prompt from the rebolting thread and putting into gpt word for word, yields this gem.... ;D
How do it know? :)
Here we go, ClimbGPT → BradBot Mode (™) engaged.
Below is a fresh batch of fictional Pinnacles-style routes, all ≤ 5.10d, all with oddities, all written in the unmistakeably cheerful-deadpan, overly-detailed, micro-historical, mildly self-deprecating prose style of Brad Young.
🧗 Pinnacles Oddities: “Routes Brad Forgot to Write Up (But Definitely Would)”
1. Sun-Baked Epoxy — 5.7 PG-13
Found on the southeast side of Unnamed Crumbly Formation #47 (the one you always walk past thinking it's too small to hold a route—you're wrong).
Climb the shallow dihedral past a single, heroic ¼-inch buttonhead which is absolutely original to the Carter administration. The crux is not the moves but the commitment to trusting the patchy yellow epoxy still holding the hanger.
Anchor is a perfectly good two-bolt setup plus one historic star-dryvin that nobody wanted to remove “for interpretive purposes.”
Good Style note: Don’t french-free the pin. Brad didn’t.
2. Turkey Vulture Ethics Committee — 5.10a
Start just right of the guano-decorated ledge that smells like it hosts town-hall meetings for the local raptor community.
Climb face knobs to a tiny bulge where a fixed RURP (yes, a RURP, placed for “psychological comfort” by a very optimistic individual) marks the crux.
Top out onto the bird-watching mezzanine and belay at three stainless bolts — but only two were installed intentionally. The third was added by someone mistaking a patch of lichen for rock quality.
BradBot Good Style: Avoid stepping on any active vulture droppings.
3. The Misplaced Bolt Ladder — 5.8
On the sunlit side of Not-Actually-Balconies Rock, start up the juggy ramp until you reach the route’s signature feature:
A three-bolt ladder on a 40-degree slab, installed during an early 90s attempt to establish an aid route… on a slab.
These bolts serve no purpose for modern climbers except to confuse people who read the topo too literally.
Anchor is two nice bolts and one ancient Leeper that everyone silently agrees to treat as art.
Brad Note: While technically fully protectable with a single cam size #0.3, nobody ever brings that size for this wall.
4. Caver’s Regret — 5.10d
A short but surprisingly fun line on the west face of Algae Biscuit.
Clip two modern bolts, then encounter the route’s defining oddity: a fixed caving piton driven horizontally into soft volcanic tuff. The first ascensionist wrote, “Why? Because it was in my pocket.”
Crux involves balancing on a crumbling edge while choosing whether to use the piton at all.
Anchor is a solid two-bolt affair… but 12 inches below it is a mystery hangerless stud whose story is unknown.
Good Style: Brad would at least touch the piton, then apologize to it.
5. Trail Mix of the Elders — 5.9+
Hidden behind a cluster of manzanita that has decided climbers should suffer for their hobby.
Typical Pinnacles knobs lead upward to a mid-route rest where someone long ago left a permanently fixed #4 Stopper — not weighted, not necessary, just jammed so perfectly that removing it would alter the geology.
Crux moves gain a fun little arete, protected by a “why-did-you-place-that-there?” bolt eight feet left of where you’d want it.
Anchor has two new bolts plus one rusty ring bolt, kept specifically because “it adds ambiance.”
BradBot: Expect good climbing but questionable arboreal access.
6. Lap of Historical Questionability — 5.10b
Right side of Crumble Ridge Proper.
The climb wanders delightfully because every first ascensionist disagreed slightly on where the “best line” was.
Halfway up you’ll discover a bolt with two hangers stacked on it, because the original hole was placed too deep and someone tried to fix the problem by… adding washers made of hangers.
The final slab is excellent. Anchor is clean stainless hardware except for one bolt whose hanger is engraved “1996 Never Forget,” which nobody understands but refuses to replace.
Bradbot Advice: Just enjoy it. Don’t try to read the topo too literally.
7. The Lost Nut Tool — 5.10c
This route protects partly on bolts, partly on “the fixed gear you will swear is removable but absolutely isn’t.”
Highlights include a very old nut tool hammered into a flake as a piton, serving as a surprisingly sturdy clipping point—though whether you should clip it is an existential question.
Crux pulls through a steepish knob face.
Anchor is again two good bolts plus one extra bolt installed a foot too low and subsequently abandoned, now used by exactly zero people for anything.
BradBot: If you clip the nut-tool, you must log it as “B” for “Brad-adjacent.”
8. Bolting By Braille — 5.10d
Follows the lumpy, bumpy knobs of Shadowed Gumdrop.
FA party allegedly drilled the second bolt in the dark, which explains the six inches of leftward drift and the fact that the hanger is a vintage SMC stamped “PROPERTY OF REI RENTAL.”
Good climbing leads to a final mantle onto a ledge with a single, perfect, half-driven soft iron piton whose continued existence is a triumph of friction.
Anchor is standard stainless.
Style: BradBot onsights but also shakes head at “that hanger.”
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Lots of good routes and information on this BrahBot list.
Good Style note: Don’t french-free the pin. Brad didn’t.
I was there for Brad's send, he cheater sticked the pin...
These bolts serve no purpose for modern climbers except to confuse people
Fantastic. Still clipping them
a fixed caving piton driven horizontally into soft volcanic tuff. The first ascensionist wrote, “Why? Because it was in my pocket.”
The FAist seems like a cool dude with cool stuff in their pockets.
#4 Stopper — not weighted, not necessary, just jammed so perfectly that removing it would alter the geology.
Every nut alters the geology at pinnacles :)
a final mantle onto a ledge with a single, perfect, half-driven soft iron piton whose continued existence is a triumph of friction.
This was poetry. Far superior to the JR advanced pinnacles guide. Look forward to the full version
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Scary - it uses the right words (mostly) and yet to those of us who know, it has no idea what the hell it is saying.
Still, I think that "Turkey Vulture Ethics Committee," and "Trail Mix of the Elders" would be great route names. It understands how random that part of the process is. And I therefore hereby dibs both.
It missed significantly on style though. This seems much closer to Chuck Richards' ;)
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Also, I co-dibs the route name "Triumph of Friction" with Dave Harden.
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It knows! Or maybe it doesn't, but it will act like it knows and then there's the question of what's the difference? simulation and simulacra discussion proceeds... :)
Already...
™ ™ ™
Turkey Vulture Ethics Committee
™ ™ ™
8)
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gpt's topo making abilities assures job security...
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Scary - it uses the right words (mostly) and yet to those of us who know, it has no idea what the hell it is saying.
Still, I think that "Turkey Vulture Ethics Committee," and "Trail Mix of the Elders" would be great route names. It understands how random that part of the process is. And I therefore hereby dibs both.
It missed significantly on style though. This seems much closer to Chuck Richards' ;)
I was also thinking "Turkey Vulture Ethics Committee" was a surprisingly good name for a route.
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gpt's topo making abilities assures job security...
The "summit?" is gold. Same with "bolt placed vaguely"
I'm working on a little Alex Honnold Free Solo thing on the 5.0a
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I probably shouldn't be fixated on it, but why would it use a comma instead of a period for the climbing difficulty ratings? lol