I'm shocked. I'm so pleased that my head is swimming. I just got off the phone with Katie, a phone call that culminates a fun last two weeks for her, and a great set of developments as I look at it.
Those who read my PCT trip reports may recall these words from the last day of our nine day trip last summer:
We then came to a trail junction at the Bear Ridge Trail where we were to leave the PCT for this trip. Well, at least two of us were to leave the trail for this trip; the third, Katie, was to leave it and not come back.
Katie's interest in these hikes has been declining for a long time. At first I didn't listen to her on this subject, I probably didn't want to hear what she was saying. Time's gone by, she's older and her interests have been changing. Although she likes climbing and hiking, she seems to like them more when she's doing them with other people. This will likely change in a few years or in several (or maybe it won't at all). I suspect that in time she'll be OK hanging out some with dad again. But for now she wants to do other things, and especially, she wants to do things with other people.
We talked about all this before this trip and also while we were on it. Katie made it plain that this was the last PCT trip she wanted to go on (at least for the foreseeable future). At first this decision was tough on me; for years it's been three of us and the thought of Katie not being part of this dream (really, my dream) was difficult. But it's also not ultimately my decision, it's hers. And so it was made: this trip, and now, on day nine, this trail junction, was the last Katie would do with us on this fantastic trail.
I'd had nine days to think about this issue. And nine days helped a lot. By this point on the trail I was OK with Katie's decision and with continuing the trail with just two of us. In fact I think this hike, and this whole issue, were critical in me letting go of Katie in a greater sense.
Katie turns 18 in two weeks, she leaves for university in six. During this trip I really came to realize that I am done. Or at least I genuinely feel like I am done. I feel like I've given her every bit of knowledge that I have to give her. By the end of this trip I'd actually come to feel like she's raised and ready for the world. I'm ready to move from being the father of a girl to being the father of a woman. It was and is a good feeling.
And so, at PCT trail mile 874.5 we posed for pictures, we walked our customary extra feet (to make sure there's overlap and that we haven't missed a step - even though Katie's not coming back) and then we all three turned left on the Bear Ridge Trail and headed down to end the trip.
Those were heartfelt words then. I knew it was time for Katie to be able to decide what and where she wanted to do outdoor-type stuff. I knew it was time for me to let go. I knew that she might (and half expected that she would) stop climbing and hiking altogether. I'd accepted that.
Well she's doing well and having a ball down there in Santa Barbara. Friends of ours who were passing through Santa Barbara took her to lunch; their follow-up descriptions to us used the word "thriving" several times. Among the fun things Katie's been up to is involving herself in U.C.S.B.'s "Excursion Club." One of the first things she did with them was sea kayaking.
Two weeks ago she told us she was going on a hike with this club. "Cool" I thought, "maybe she's not totally fried on hiking after all." And it turned out that that hike - on an old and hard-to-follow Forest Service trail in the Santa Ynez mountains, was a tough, tough hike. It included some class three on Cathedral Peak (the one down there), and an after-dark finish. The word we got back from her was that she loved it and she really liked her fellow Excursion Club members.
Then, the next day we heard back that the club leaders had asked her if she might be (as a freshman) interested in being a club leader (a staff member). She seemed thrilled by this.
So, today she texted Vicki and followed up with a phone call. Apparently she was asked to give the club a resume of her outdoor experience. Among other activities, she described her years of PCT hiking. She forwarded the resulting text-message exchange between her and the club president to Vicki. Here's what it said (posted with Katie's permission, although she thinks I'm weird):
2/20/14!
“Text I got from Excursion Club president [smiley/grin face]:!
! “”lol we are all in disbelief about 850 of the pct…!
! Clear your schedule for Monday at 8pm””!
! ! “”Haha yeah, I’m doing more this summer:). OK, what am I going to?””!
! “”Your first staff meeting 
””!
Notice that last part about doing more PCT this summer? (We'll believe it if we see it, but she's always welcome; she knows that.)
The follow-up phone call was to see if we could send down her backpack, a headlamp, a sleeping pad, you know, EVERYTHING she needs. (And, oh, while we're at it, can we send down her share of the girl scout cookies that Tricia is selling - Katie definitely still has her appetite.)
This is cool. This is great. My girl seems to still love this stuff. She's good at it, and she's proud that other people recognize that she's good at it.
One backpack, on the way, pronto...
