Author Topic: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct  (Read 1194 times)

Zay

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Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« on: February 03, 2021, 10:28:28 AM »
“Elliott, I’m going to die and I just shit my pants.” Actually, what I said out loud was, “Elliott I’m not feeling this.” I swear.

“Just come down if you want.” His tone suggested nothing. Elliott was neither encouraging or dissuading me from pushing through my fear.

“I’m coming down.”

Below me, the dry creek was a bed of magma. Death was absolutely sure if I fell those thirty – maybe even forty – maybe even seventy – feet to the earth. Crater was more like it. Crash and splat. After that, my wimpy corpse would be cast into some Hell where I would be forced to top rope plastic 5.6’s for all of eternity. I was about to urinate despite my lack of a place to do it. God in heaven, maybe some angel might save me.

Nay, I was alone on that man-foresaken rock. The thirty feet of air between me and that creek was the scariest empty space I may likely ever see again.

To my right, the crack ran diagonally and down for thirty feet. Somewhere down there, was a yellow cam that was essentially laughing at me as if to say, “You’re on your own, bud.”

Every grain of dirt and moss threatened to yank my feet out from beneath me. The creek was hungry. Machete Ridge was a mother raven, and her chicks were chirping.

Inch by inch, I teetered over hand and foot, down to the cam. I clipped the stupid bastard to my harness, immediately exposing myself to death again, and continued to creep down to the tree. Stepping out from the wall to the rotten branches – covered in living moss – I breathed with resignation that a branch was about to break and I was about to fucking die.

Down the branch, and over to the other, I finally kissed sweet Earth. Primates aren’t supposed to climb rocks.

mudworm

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2021, 06:59:31 PM »
You are really a writer, Zay!

Inch by inch

The solution to everything!
Inch by inch, I will get there.

germanShepherd

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2021, 07:18:52 PM »
Next time I stare up at the first pitch of MD to contemplate doing it, I will remember this, Zay ;-)

Jody

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2021, 06:02:21 PM »
Love the story...complete with mention of the tree branch, etc.

Reminds me of when I was 5 1/2 and dad took me to that spot and I saw where a lady had fallen down the route from 500+' up and crashed through a limb on the way to her death.

Glad YOU didn't splat. It was a horrific scene BITD, complete with fresh blood stains and all.

Brad Young

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2021, 06:17:35 PM »
^^^

Oh God. I won't ever voluntarily go to a scene like that. I hope I'm never even close enough that I have to decide not to go.

Thanks for sharing by the way, Zay.


Jody

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2021, 06:22:59 PM »
He was finishing his investigation and wondered if I wanted to go along. I didn't know any better. She broke off a 4" oak limb on her way down.

Zay

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2021, 11:36:16 PM »
Hey there all,  say,  Jody: WOW. i don't know what to say... u g00d?

i will HAPPILY write as many stories as i can about pinnacles if it keeps the place happy.

aloha and hola from Kauai

F4?

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2021, 08:11:47 AM »
Nice writing.

I remember my buddy Jake laughing about that pitch......his MO was to laugh when he was scared out of his wits.
He recalled how rounout that part was, like crazy runout.

I remember Brad recounting what he had heard from Glen or by some means......
He would lead up, climbing, climbing. At the end of the rope length a bolt pull be placed! So gear on an easy pitch was not a though.....

Not complaining, not arguing, just recounting the mind set....which is amazing given that crappy rock.

I'm not worthy.

Jody

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2021, 03:51:31 PM »
Hey there all,  say,  Jody: WOW. i don't know what to say... u g00d?


That wasn't near as bad as going with him on a rescue of a guy who cratered off Discovery Wall with compound fractures of both legs. THAT was awful to witness. I was about 5 or 6.

Zay

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2021, 06:46:32 AM »
Hey all.
Just wrote another - similar - story, and I hope you guys... enjoy it.
https://zay.design/2021/02/07/the-grack/

Jody

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2021, 08:36:27 AM »
Quote
I have always wielded my own idiocy like a sword.


That is an epic line! Can I take it for my own?

Zay

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2021, 11:36:53 AM »
Jody, you can have the whole story! I care very little for things these days :)

Jody

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Re: Story: Fear and Loathing on Machete Direct
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2021, 12:15:42 PM »
Jody, you can have the whole story! I care very little for things these days :)

I know how you feel. Becoming a grandpa 6 weeks ago changed that attitude a bit but it is still there.

I could never pass that story off as my own. No 400' free solos have ever been even contemplated by me.