I need to find my own pussycat!
This was on Monday. After a day of watching time slip away, I caught the sight of my to-do list written down in the morning when I was still feeling optimistic about myself. By now, pretty much all the items would have to be pushed to next day. That made me feel disappointed. There was still one last item planned for after dinner: trail run. Unlike bicycling that requires me to bring the bike down from the rack, pump up the tires, and don all the cycling clothes -- ugh, too much work -- running needs little. I knew it would make me feel good after the run. But instead, I grabbed the key and drove to TJ's. Surprise! They had the Almond Danish on the shelf! (While driving, I debated with myself whether I should wish they were out of stock.) I bought two boxes and laughed with the cashier when she made the comment, "oh, those are so good that it's hard not to finish them in one sitting." After reaching home, I finished one box (8 servings). On Tuesday, I finished the second. That made me feel good. And that also made me feel bad.
I found the 800 number for Employee Assistance Program I saved from months ago. Time to give them a call. Counseling sessions are offered through the program. I spent one hour on the phone to answer a lot of questions for validation, authorization, and assessment. I probably said it 10 times in various ways, "no, I'm not suicidal", although, TBH, the question crossed my mind when I was stuffing myself with the last bit of the almond danish, "am I killing myself eating this way?" At least, it was tasty. I got the authorization code and a list of practitioners. Called a few. Turned out none of them have openings (esp. for EAP). Well, can't count on them for help then.
Then I saw this thread. I'm glad that Mr. Mud found his pussycat. Don't lose sight! Now, I just need to find my own!